Sometimes it takes a dramatic, life-threatening wake-up call like my diagnosis to shake us from old paradigms, old beliefs and even old definitions of what constitutes a prosperous, soul-satisfying life. Or you may be slapped into a strange new reality by the loss of that job you always thought you’d have. Or it could be the realization that you’re about to face yet another soul-sucking day in that coal mine of a job you hate.

Whatever it is, this wake-up presents you with an opportunity to realign your life and your work in order to experience your own definition of prosperity.

But what is your definition of prosperity?

To get you started, I’ll share my 3-part definition of prosperity with you:

* To have work you love, work at which you excel and for which you are appreciated and paid well.
* To live a life where you have balance and control, while making your highest contribution in every role of your life.
* To be financially secure, while working towards financial independence, where financial independence is defined as your ongoing semi-passive income exceeding your expenses, long before you retire.

Now any one of the three components could be a tall order in today’s world, and all three in unison might feel impossible. What I discovered is that to achieve this I had to understand and align many different components, starting with my beliefs and values then moving on to my lifetime vision, self-knowledge, right livelihood, financial independence and what I refer to as the fear gap.

What’s your definition of prosperity? How is it aligned with your beliefs, values, priorities and dreams? Or is it?

“Creativity thinks up new ideas, but innovation takes that idea and turns it into action,” explains Lisa Bodell, Founder and CEO of futurethink, adding that “Stakeholders need to separate good ideas from great ideas before turning that great idea into a business thought.”

Ideas are the easy part. Knowing what to do with them is the trick that turns a creative idea into a business innovation. Consider the Swiffer, that nifty collapsible mop with replaceable ends. During the research and development process, P & G took an ethnographic approach to determining what was missing when people cleaned their homes. Once the gap was identified, they created a need and subsequent demand for their innovative product.

Admittedly, not every organization has P & G-sized resources to combat hurdles to innovation which, in most organizations, include lack of time, money and inadequate staffing levels. Bodell states that other hurdles include “an evaluation process that squelches innovative ideas, no way to track the progress or success of innovation initiatives and no way to tap into the thinking of employees, partners and users.”

A good place to start in your innovation initiative is to find out who in the organization is already doing something interesting or cool. Interviews, focus groups and surveys will elicit employee knowledge, opinions, attitudes, and degrees of satisfaction with existing innovation initiatives. Once that baseline is established, an overall approach to innovation can be developed.

The Quest for Innovation: A Global Study of Innovation Management 2006-2016 was a survey commissioned by the American Management Association and conducted by the Human Resource Institute. This polling of 1,356 global leaders captured the top five elements necessary for developing an innovative culture in any organization. That is,
1) customer focus,
2) team work or collaboration with others,
3) appropriate resources (time and money),
4) timely and effective organizational communication, and
5) the ability to select the right ideas for further research.

“You can tell the culture of an organization by looking at the arrangement of furniture, what people brag about and what they wear — similar to ways in which you get a feeling about someone’s personality,” notes Carter McNamara, MBA, Ph.D., in his Field Guide to Leadership and Supervision.

The steps to creating a culture that supports innovation on a daily basis are more accessible than one might first imagine. Every cause needs a champion and innovation is no exception. Innovation requires top down support, where those at the top lead by example and encourage stakeholders to take smart risks.

“What often limits innovation in any organization is that people tend to want to ‘get it just right’ before sharing their ideas,” explains Bodell. “Leaders who support innovative thinking need to help employees become comfortable with sharing their ideas- and works-in-progress.”

Artists at the Academy Award®-winning Pixar Animation Studios share their beginning sketches and drawings of animated characters with team members early in the process. This allows them to stimulate the thinking of their colleagues, gather feedback and build on that feedback throughout the animation process which adds depth to the finished product.

“Many people worry that by sharing their ideas, someone will beat them to the punch,” remarks Richard Bowers, Ph.D. “There is no limit to what can be done if you don’t care who gets the credit.”

Other steps in creating a culture of innovation require leaders, managers and supervisors to encourage new and alternative thinking and to share subsequent ideas within business units and across the organization. Everyone needs to know what others are working on and feel a part of the whole. Employee feedback about the status of organizational innovation can be captured in surveys about employee engagement, employee satisfaction, working relationships, and organizational assessment.

To foster a culture of innovation, leaders must support their teams with resources and expose them to creative ways of being. Offering tools for creativity and innovation on the company intranet is a start. The workforce must feel motivated to participate fully in innovative thinking without fear of reprisal. Employee recognition for innovative ideas – from a day off, memo or heartfelt thank you — means someone noticed and cares. And, remember to keep people apprised about what happens to ideas as they make their way through the innovation pipeline.

This triangle represents how specific your information is at any given time in your introduction. The wide part at the top represents fairly general information, and, as the triangle becomes narrower, the information becomes more specific. In essence, the inverted triangle is just a way to remember that you should go from the general to the specific in your introduction.

I’ve found that the best way to put this into practice is to start off by talking about some general issue or problem. Then, I try to apply it more specifically to the audience that I am talking to. Then I become even more specific by advocating a particular plan or solution.

As an example, if you were giving a presentation on your business opportunity, you might begin by talking about the economy (general), and how hard it is for some people to make ends meet (a little more specific). Then, you would discuss how nice it would be for your audience to have some extra money to pay bills or buy that luxury item they’ve always wanted (more specific). Then, finally, you would introduce your opportunity as a way that they could accomplish this (even more specific).

As you can see, this format is a nice way of leading into a subject. By using the triangle, you can “ease” your way into making your main point at the end of the introduction. The inverted triangle certainly isn’t the only way to structure an introduction, but it is very helpful when an introduction doesn’t spring instantly to mind.

Author: Ron Sathoff

The problem with rhetorical questions is that they can sometimes be confusing. I’ve heard speeches where someone has rhetorically asked “Think about it; when was the last time you were TRULY happy?” only to have an audience member say out loud, “Yesterday!” Needless to say, the speaker was a little disoriented by this unexpected answer.

Because rhetorical questions can be hard to handle and because they have a tendency to sound stiff and formal, I recommend that you ask TRUE questions (ones that require an answer) whenever you can. This is especially true if you are in a normal speaking situation, where you can communicate back-and-forth freely with your audience.

There are two reasons why I recommend doing this. First, it sounds much more conversational — rhetorical questions don’t come up a lot in normal conversation. Second, by asking your audience actual questions and gathering the answers, you are creating a sense of participation in your speech. Your audiences will pay better attention and remember your speech more if they take an active part in it.

So, the next time you feel like saying something like “We’ve all had a bad meal, haven’t we?” and going on without pausing, try saying “How many of you have had a truly BAD meal in the past week? Raise your hand if you have! [see how many hands go up] Wow, that’s a LOT of bad food, and that’s what I’m here to talk about . . .” You’ll find that, by actually communicating with your audience in this way, your message will be better received.

Author: Ron Sathoff

This is a time when your body goes through a tremendous growth spurt. In a relatively short span of your life your body grows to almost twice the size of what it use to be. Arms and legs seem to have a mind of their own as you try to coordinate their movement. Muscle mass increases to help you run faster and jump higher. Everything changes so fast that when you pass a mirror you may not be sure who that is looking back at you.

It is a time of considerable learning. Information pours in at such a pace and on a daily basis that it is amazing anyone could process it all. Even so, you manage to catalog most of it somewhere in your brain for future use. Then, each time one of those stored bits of information shows up again, everyone else in the room can see your lights turning on. All that information will also be used to help you make decisions as to what is right and what is wrong. You learn more and more to avoid the things that hurt and go toward those that bring you pleasure. Hopefully, you also learn which are good choices.

It is a time when communication is probably the biggest issue. Yes, you have a vocabulary that allows you to get what you need but, in order to function, you need to learn more words and how to use them more eloquently. Not being able to do so can lead to insurmountable frustration, where you don’t know whether to be upset with yourself or your parents, who simply don’t understand you.

It is a time when, for some unknown reason, you have a need to test the limits. When you are trying to convince your parents that you are old enough to do what you want to do and responsible enough to make your own decisions. When you are not always understood. When the words fail and you know you are not being heard, and the frustration leads you to simply have a fit.

Such is the plight of a two-year old, or was that a teenager? The only real differences are braces and acne.

Both have to learn how to maneuver in a body that is growing faster than they are. Both have so much to learn. At two, it is counting to ten; as a teen, it is algebra and calculus. For each, it is just as much of a challenge. Both need to explore their ever expanding world. At two, that is rarely out of a parent’s sight; for a teen, the limits drop as the whole world is opened up. Decisions and responsibilities expand too, from learning hot and cold, to more complex issues of life and interpersonal relationships.

Then there is communication. At two, the vocabulary may be limited but it is quite sufficient to convey one’s basic needs. With practice, single word commands expand into three word sentences that make it easier to deal with parents and others. Teens are no different. They have more words, but need to develop a greater command of the language in order to get their more complex ideas across to others.

Both go through the frustration of all these issues and of not being understood and, when that boils over, there is little difference between a tantrum on the living room floor and stomping off to your bedroom and slamming the door. The lessons are basically the same, only the scale changes.

Oddly enough, the lesson here is probably best given to the parents or those teens who will be parents: The “Terrible Twos” are not really that terrible, especially once you get past them and, for that matter, neither are those teenage years. Just remember that both are growing and need to be understood. You, no doubt, recall being a teenager yourself more than you do having been two. As a parent, you have the advantage of seeing both stages in your child. The moral of this story is they are no different than a one-year old who learned how to walk. No matter how many times they fell they got back up and tried again because you were there to support them. Dr Bill Gallagher is the director of Run Drugs Out of Town Run, Inc. http://rundrugsoutoftownrun.org

Author: Joan Bramsch

This month marks the “National Suicide Survivor Day”. November 17, 2001 is set aside to recognize all those who have endured the grief surrounding the suicide of a loved one. I would like to dedicate my first column to my mom. November 14th was her birthday and she died by suicide 15 years ago.

As a survivor myself, I reflect upon how much my life has changed and developed since my mom’s death. An adolescent when her death occurred, my life was ultimately shaped into becoming a resource and support for individuals challenged by depression, suicide, grief and various types ofloss.

In my training as a counselor I focused on my own personal and professional growth in the field of grief counseling. I learned that education is a reciprocal process. My greatest teachers have been the numerous students that I worked with in an alternative high school dropout retrieval program as well as the many young children I worked with at a local hospice program. While teaching at a university I am fortunate to have been touched by so many caring professional counselors, nurses and social workers who have attended my classes as well as by the resourceful professors who gave me my foundation of training.

During this specific time of recognition for suicide survivors, conferences will meet throughout the country to educate and bring survivors together. You can access a “Live Webcast” on Saturday, November 17th from noon to 1:30p.m. by visiting the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention website: www.afsp.org. This organization provides research, bibliographies, updated articles and much more. For more information you can contact them directly at (212) 363-3500.

In my work facilitating suicide support groups I encourage survivors to share what they find as the key differences in grieving a suicide. Most survivors express intensified shock, anger and guilt in coping with the death of their special person.

I could identify with these feelings. Although I was only 17 when my mom died by suicide, I experienced extreme guilt in my grief. I believed that “if only” I had done something different, I could have saved her. I eventually came to terms with the fact that there was nothing I could have done to stop what had occurred. Like many survivors I too beat myself up with the “what if’s” for quite some time.

Not all survivors experience guilt and anger but that tends to be a prominent theme for most. Anger can be felt in various ways. It is commonly directed at the individual who died. When in touch with this type of anger, many survivors tend to reflect on the struggles their loved one endured and then ultimately feel guilt ridden once again. For some, anger is directed at surviving loved ones in a blaming fashion. Encouraging survivors to express their anger as well as their other feelings in a therapeutic environment will have positive long-term effects.

It is crucial to be aware of the accentuated duration and intensity of grief following a suicide. Most individuals take years to recover from the devastation of this event. It is estimated that someone grieving a sudden loss will take three times the average amount of time to heal from the death. Being sensitive to the amount of time and the extreme emotions that a survivor will feel during his grief is one way that you can assist in the healing process. Another way to help a survivor is by allowing him to tell and retell the specifics surrounding the death.

Depending on the relationship between the survivor and deceased, the death may alter the existing person’s life in numerous ways. If the survivor is a child, there most likely will be vast differences in the way he experiences life following the death. For an adult, specifically a spouse, adapting to an entirely new role is only one of the many challenges that widowhood will bring. No matter what the age of the survivor there is a forced new way of life. The grieving individual will now adapt a whole new perception of what his world will be as well as his trust in the natural progression of life.

When informing loved one’s about the death, honesty is best. Small lies only become larger lies. A survivor spared the truth to be protected will end up re-grieving the death of their loved one when the truth is unfolded. This can occur even many years after the actual date of the death. Remember to always disclose age appropriate details after carefully determining the maturation of the survivor. However, know the consequences of dishonesty and consult with trained professional in communicating the truth.

Validating and commemorating the life of a loved one is extremely beneficial in the healing process. Apparent simplistic gestures like planting a tree or creating a memory box can be quite empowering. As a personal way of validating my mother’s life as well as her death, I created “Someone I Love Died By Suicide: A story for child survivors and those who care for them.” I designed this book after years of research and working in the field. It is appropriate for all ages and is the only book available to read directly with children survivors. More information is available about my book on my website: http://www.griefguidance.com.

In closing, I share my knowledge and my book with you as a way of trying to reach all those who have been devastated by the suicide of a loved one. Please join me and take this opportunity to recognize the numerous suicide survivors in our communities.

Read The Book Review Here ..

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“Someone I Love Died by Suicide: A story for child survivors and those who care for them”. This book is one of only a few books available today that is specifically designed to be read to children survivors.

About The Author… Doreen T. Cammarata, MS, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, is currently an adjunct instructor at Florida Atlantic University educating graduate students and professionals on grief counseling issues. She has had eight years of university experience as an assistant instructor in addition to her full time work experiences as a school counselor for at-risk youth and as a grief and bereavement specialist working with adults and children at a local hospice program. She is also on the board and serves as the Program Chairperson for the Palm Beach County, Florida ADEC Chapter.

An equally important credential is that Doreen Cammarata is a suicide survivor. Doreen’s mother suffered from depression. During Doreen’s adolescence, her mother died by suicide. Consequently, Doreen understands personally as well as professionally the need to address this issue. Visit her site. http://www.griefguidance.com

Author: Joan Bramsch

Need information? Don’t know who to ask or where to turn? Here are some useful links and information sources that will respect YOU and your privacy.

Coping With Teens

Most of us were never taught to be parents. So we can’t help but disappoint ourselves sometimes. How often have you heard yourself using the very words you hated hearing from your own parents?

When our kids become teenagers, it gets even harder. They seem to reject everything we’ve taught them. As far as they’re concerned, we know nothing. Our values and beliefs are constantly challenged. Every word we utter is seen as interference. Emotions run high.

But we’re more important to our teens than ever. As they try out the values of their peers, who are more influential than ever, we counter the pull of drugs, alcohol and early sex. These entangle children every day and can ruin their lives.

Here are some links that might help: The turbulent teens Getting along with your teen Dealing with anger Ignoring problems won’t make them go away What to do if your teen runs away If you need to talk

Missing Child

We’ve compiled a lot of helpful suggestions for finding a missing child right here. Keep in mind that runaways often travel short distances and come back after a few days. Nonetheless, take action immediately.

Think clearly and logically about where your child might be. Try to figure out why he is missing or running away at this particular time. Follow only those suggestions that are useful and in order of their importance. Keep a notebook recording all the steps you’ve taken and dates. Useful links: Contact the police Contact your child’s network Search your neighborhood Who to call for help Publicize Prepare for a call from your child How to cope when your child returns home If you need to talk

Suicide

Most young people end up killing themselves because they simply don’t know where else to turn. They are in some kind of pain that seems unbearable and they want the pain to stop. They end up stopping their entire lives just because they didn’t know what else to do.

Here are some links that might help: Why do people kill themselves? Suicide warning signs What do you know about suicide? Need to talk?

VISIT HERE: http://joanbramsch.com/counseling/links.shtml

Author: Joan Bramsch

That’s why letting go of your past – or “getting complete” – is vitally important. If you do not get complete, you will carry old pain into present and future relationships. If you do not get complete, you may perceive any situation, similar to the ones in which you were hurt, as more of the same. This will make most relationships difficult, and may even prevent them from forming at all.

Being complete with your past has two key benefits. First, when faced with a situation that causes you pain or resentment, you become free to choose your actions rather than reacting from fear of pain. Secondly, you no longer have an emotional reaction when looking back on the hurtful situations.

Can you see why it is vital that you become complete with your past if you are to build your ideal relationship?

Here are ten suggestions for getting complete with any past hurt or resentment. Try working on a few situations at a time until you find you are complete with them.

1. Write letters. Write letters to the person who made you feel resentful or hurt. Freely say everything you want to say. Write as many letters as necessary to feel complete, but do not send them. Instead, do something with them that helps you feel you are getting rid of the painful feelings. Flush the letters down the toilet, burn them, bury them, etc.

2. Tell your story. Tell your story over and over to a trusted friend or advisor. Make sure the person listening gives no advice and makes no comments to dispute your feelings, but instead allows you to talk and listens attentively.

3. Talk to the right person. Talk to the person with whom you feel incomplete. Do this only if you are sure this person will be able to listen to you in the same way as described in #2. Make sure not to blame or be rude, but talk about your feelings and the consequences in your life. If you have the opportunity, have as many conversations as you need to get complete.

4. Imagine. Imagine yourself in the same room as the person with whom you have the incompletion. Imagine them attentively listening to you while you say everything you need to say. Repeat this process many times until you are done.

5. Role-Play. Ask a trusted friend to role-play the hurtful situation with you. Have them be the other person and reenact the situation. Respond how you wish you had responded. Repeat the role-play, but this time, have the other person act in a way that would have avoided causing you pain. Repeat the process over time until you feel complete.

6. Reexamine. Reexamine the situation from the vantage point of the present. How did you grow as a result of the pain? Was there a hidden gift in going through the experience? What did you learn as a result of the situation? Repeat until you can feel gratitude toward the situation, the pain, the resentment, the anger and the other person.

7. Pray. If you pray, say the following prayer for at least a month and perhaps longer until you feel complete: “Please remove the resentment/anger/pain I am feeling toward/about [name]. Please give [name] as much joy, prosperity, love, etc., as I want for myself.”

8. Perform a ritual. Do something physical to symbolize that you are now letting go of the past and are ready to move freely into the present. Repeat until you feel complete.

9. Repair the damage. Actively repair the damage that was caused to you. If something of yours was taken, replace it with an item just as good or better. If you were emotionally hurt, give yourself the kind of support, acknowledgement, love, etc., that you wanted from the other person. Ask trusted others to provide you with the emotional support you needed and did not get. It’s ok to request to be treated in exactly the way you need in order to heal.

10. Talk to the spirit of the person. Sometimes our relationships go so wrong, so much hurt is created, that it is difficult to imagine the person giving us the understanding we need to get complete. In these cases, have conversations with the person’s spirit. Although they may not be able to hear you, you know their spirit will. Recreate the suggestion in #4, but talk to the person’s spirit rather than to the actual person.

When you let go of past hurts and resentments, an unimaginable field of possibilities will open up for you. You will be free from your past. You will be free to form bonds with people based on the essence and the beauty of who you are. You will be able to see the essence and beauty of others. From that freedom you will be able to create your ideal relationship.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you’ll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a “true love magnet(tm)!”

Author: Rinatta Paries

Both models have limits. If you break your leg, the Western model makes most sense; if you suffer from insomnia, you might favor the Chinese model.

John’s business is hitting a rough patch.

Coach X says, “Clear your life of clutter energing-draining relationships.”

Coach Y says, “I will teach you mental techniques to attract new business.”

Coach Z says, “Maybe your business does not reflect your life purpose.”

Coach Q offers, “I will teach you networking and sales techniques.” Only John knows what he needs. If your website needs an overhaul, you can clear clutter till your house is bare and nothing will happen.

But if everyday hassles are draining your energies, you can’t focus clearly on the website.

Let’s compare four best-selling books. Cheryl Richardson’s Take Time for Your Life exemplifies the “life space” model: people know what they want and how to get there; they grow by self-care and personal empowerment. Choose Coach X.

Lynn Grabhorn’s Excuse Me Your Life is waiting, suggests that people will achieve goals when they focus clearly on what they want. Her techniques can help people change their thinking and feeling styles. Choose Coach Y.

Martha Beck’s book, Finding your own true north, argues that finding your essential self will bring fulfillment. Choose Coach Z.

Finally, a business book like Michael Gerber’s E-Myth series or Jay Levinson’s Guerilla Marketing will assume you are perfectly capable of applying sound sales techniques once you learn what they are. Yes — that’s Coach Q.

The key is to be very clear on what you want and to decode what the coach offers before you commit to long-term relationships. Karen got Coach X when she needed Coach Q

Read what the coach has written. Ask if you can buy an hour or two of consultation. Ask directly, “What types of people do you believe you can help — and why?”

You don’t have to be friends with your coach. You don’t have to eat lunch together or trade birthday gifts. But the coach’s model of human nature has to fit who you are.

Author: Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.

Coach X says, “Clear your life of clutter energing-draining relationships.” Coach Y says, “I will teach you mental techniques to attract new business.” Coach Z says, “Maybe your business does not reflect your life purpose.” Coach Q offers, “I will teach you networking and sales techniques.”

Only John knows what he needs. If your website needs an overhaul, you can clear clutter till your house is bare and nothing will happen. But if everyday hassles are draining your energies, you can’t focus clearly on the website. Let’s compare four best-selling books. Cheryl Richardson’s Take Time for Your Life exemplifies the “life space” model: people know what they want and how to get there; they grow by self-care and personal empowerment.

Choose Coach X. Lynn Grabhorn’s Excuse Me Your Life is waiting, suggests that people will achieve goals when they focus clearly on what they want. Her techniques can help people change their thinking and feeling styles. Choose Coach Y.

Martha Beck’s book, Finding your own true north, argues that finding your essential self will bring fulfillment. Choose Coach Z. Finally, a business book like Michael Gerber’s E-Myth series or Jay Levinson’s Guerilla Marketing will assume you are perfectly capable of applying sound sales techniques once you learn what they are. Yes — that’s Coach Q.

The key is to be very clear on what you want and to decode what the coach offers before you commit to long-term relationships. Karen got Coach X when she needed Coach Q Read what the coach has written. Ask if you can buy an hour or two of consultation. Ask directly, “What types of people do you believe you can help — and why?” You don’t have to be friends with your coach. You don’t have to eat lunch together or trade birthday gifts. But the coach’s model of human nature has to fit who you are.

Author: Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.