Write a list of your 10 POSITIVE qualities.

Find 15 minutes in the day when you can sit quietly and make you list and don’t forget, a quality isn’t the same as a skill: being a good listener is a skill as it’s something we can learn but what qualities do you need to have in order to be a good listener? You probably need to be patient, supportive…. Get the idea? So if you come up with things like ‘I’m a good friend’ ‘I’m a great mother’, ask yourself what qualities lie behind this.

As you’re writing your list avoid the mental qualifications of “but I’m not that all the time” or “I’m only like that if things are going well” etc etc!! If this quality is something you express generally in your life, then put it down!

And don’t give up when you’ve got 4 because it’s difficult! Press on and make sure you get at least 10 qualities. I have used this exercise with groups over many years and it is almost always a struggle for women to get to 10 whereas when I do the exercise with men, most have no trouble coming up with a list of 15+!! No, this doesn’t mean that men have more qualities than women but it does demonstrate that women, generally, lack confidence in themselves and what they have to offer the world.

And when you have your list, what do you do with it? Certainly keep it so you can take it to interviews and meetings with the bank manager. I know of women who have typed out coloured versions and keep in next to their computer, written it up on big sheets of paper and stuck it to their bathroom mirror or put post-it notes all over their fridge! Even if you have to keep it in a drawer as you don’t want your family to see it, get it out and read it when you are feeling low and remind yourself what a great woman you are!

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If you want to add to your list, why not show it to a friend whose opinion you trust? I guarantee they will agree with everything you have put and will be able to add more.